Compassion is a deep source of meaningfulness for the giver, the recipient, and the onlooker. The experience of doing and receiving something good is what makes life worth living.
Compassion
Compassion is a series of interlocked events in human interaction. Empathy is an important element of compassion: we must recognise another’s joy or suffering, and step into their shoes. Empathy is complemented by the motivation to do what is good, the direction towards the good of another. However, the most important moment of compassion is when compassion becomes visible as deeds. Without deeds, compassion is not compassion.
Co-passion
In research, compassion has long been defined as alleviating another’s pain. According to our definition, compassion is equally also co-passion, the sharing of another’s enthusiasm. Co-passion is the twin of compassion, it is formed of the same elements as compassion: the ability to recognise another’s emotional state and empathise with it, as well as the actions expressing this empathy. For example, making another’s success visible within the work community by giving praise may be an act of co-passion.
Compassion and co-passion in working life – 3×5 steps
Compassion has the power to revolutionise human relationships and communities: in the working life, compassion steps up the pace not only of the experience of meaningfulness, but also social relations among colleagues, innovations, cognitive achievement, well-being in the work place, and good customer relations. Also the value of co-passion is irreplaceable: what if your successes were never noticed within your work environment, in any way? Wouldn’t it be crushing, if nobody would rejoice with you?
These research-based tips will hep you get started with building a better work community:
- Be available. Ask questions and offer to help. It is particularly important that managers keep their doors open, both figuratively and literally.
- Learn to know your colleagues. When you know your colleagues, you can answer their need for assistance in a way that is meaningful for them. You will never know everything about other people, so ask, and listen humbly.
- Keep yourself up-to-date regarding yourself. When emotions flare up, stop to ponder on your own motives: why are you acting the way do? Authenticity is important, and even bewilderment can also be shared.
- Dare to act. Dare to attempt deeds of compassion and co-passion. Challenge yourself to compassionate and co-passionate deeds. Challenge yourself to deeds of compassion even when you are not certain if you know how, or whether you want to.
- Stop. Remember time management, rest, your own limits, have compassion towards yourself. Giving is easier for someone who is thriving rather than exhausted.
- Express your suffering – and your enthusiasm! The prerequisite for compassion and co-passion to emerge is that suffering and enthusiasm are made visible to others. It is impossible to react to the invisible.
- Accept the help you are offered. Trust in goodness. Someone offering their assistance doesn’t have to have any hidden agenda.
- Be honest and keep your own boundaries. The actions meant as good by someone wanting to help may feel wrong to you. Say so out loud. Nobody has the right to define what it is you need.
- Don’t fear being labelled weak. Our ability to give and receive help has been at the core of human evolutionary success. Why should it be a sign of weakness in today’s working life either?
- The giver is not better than the recipient. Compassion and co-passion are at their best when they arise from the idea of our equal humanity: we have something in common – that is why we share from what is ours. The role of giver and recipient must not be about position of power, or signs of being better than another, but rather real-life situations of vibrant interaction.
- Adopt authenticity as a shared norm. A work community that allows existence as a complete person, not just a time resource performing work duties, enables compassion and co-passion. Authenticity doesn’t, however, mean uncontrolled outbursts of emotion.
- Decide about matters as a community. Joint decision-making strengthens social relationships within the work place. A work community taking part in, for instance, recruiting decisions helps recruiting new employees who suit the work place, also as a social community.
- Recognise achievements. Recognise each other’s achievements, big and small, with words and deeds. This is important especially for the culture of co-passion.
- Celebrate and joke together. The focus of work is on working, but humour is a way of distancing yourselves from difficult matters. Remembering a colleague’s birthday or an important life event speaks of appreciating the joys of their private lives also in the work place, and of wishing everyone well.
- Confront problems without beating around the bush. Confront problems immediately when they arise, so that you can learn from them and move forward. Dwelling on problems and crushing each other by coming back to failures effectively destroy the prerequisites of compassion and co-passion.
These tips are based on the results of our research and the following articles:
Lilius et al. (2011) Understanding Compassion Capability
Lilius et al. (2008) The Contours and Consequences of Compassion at Work
Dutton et al. (2014) Compassion at work